Pirates vs Ninja

Sadly this idea for a web series never really took off. We recorded this episode and from there the whole project just imploded. It was a valuable learning experience though. Too bad... I really thought this idea had potential. Maybe one day I'll resurrect it from the ashes of my media external hard drive.

Bafa Bafa Ba?

Bafa Bafa Ba? is a documentary I filmed about cross cultural assimilation. This is the teaser. Bafa Bafa is a cross-culture simulation exercise developed by R. Garry Shirts. It is designed for administrators, faculty, and students who are in situations that require an experiential understanding of another culture. After participants are given a brief orientation to the exercise, they are divided into two groups or "cultures." They are then introduced to the values, rules, expectations, and customs of their new culture. Observers are exchanged between the two cultures. After a fixed time, the observers return to their respective groups and report on what they saw. Each group tries to develop hypotheses about the most effective way to interact with the other culture. After the exercise, the participants discuss and analyze the experience and generalize it to other groups in the real world. Benefits include enhancing teaching and learning in a culturally diverse classroom, dealing with racial and ethnic conflict, and developing an understanding of the needs of different racial and ethnic groups. It also reports some learning outcomes from it, such as the negative feelings people often have for other cultures and the need for both study and experience in order to understand the nuances of culture.

10 Ways To Get Me To Ask You Out

Here are 10 ways to get an awesome guy like me, to ask a "not-as-attractive-as-Adriana Lima" girl like YOU out!

This also can be used as a playbook of things you should AVOID doing around me if you don't want me to be interested in you... its okay to print this out and refer to it during our future interactions... don't worry I hate you too (No really! I can't stand you!).


1. Be yourself.
Multiple personalities are NOT cool.Its hard enough to remember YOUR birthday,your CAT'S birthday, and our unofficial bi-weekly, twice annual "anniversary of when we first made eye contact". Your messing this whole attraction thing up when you start to speak in the third person. And although EBONY and IVORY may be excellent people, when they ask for birthday gifts it just makes YOU look greedy.

2. Extend this point to external appearances too.
Now some women hit the mall and some shop at the thrift store.
Some of 'em mix and match and make it look like they get more.
Some of y'all know you wear a sixteen - squeezin' into a six.
Dang girl? - what you make them jeans rip for?


3. Accentuate your advantages.
Instead of killing your confidence by following uncomfortable fashion trends, look exquisite by just accentuating your physical advantages. Whether the most beautiful thing about you is your height, your complexion, or your really.RRRRRReally BIG.........eyes.......... or anything else, draw attention to it with flattering clothes and make-up.If ever in doubt just "Shake what ya mama gave ya!", it works well for strippers, why not you?

4. Take the initiative.
Baby, Red Lobster ain't cheap.You'll score mondo brownie points with me if you take the initiative, and suggest bailing out on the check BEFORE I excuse myself to the restroom...and never come back...If this doesn't sound like something your willing to do...well...I hope you can run in those heels, cause' I don't know about you ,buuuuut I'm having steak AND lobster tonight.

5. Leave small gates and windows open.
Look stalking you is hard enough without "Sparkles" the Doberman and "Nacho" the Chihuahua gnawing and chewing my ankles into stumps! You try climbing the lattice work outside your window with a bloody busted leg. Oh and next time it would be super nice of you "sweetums" to shut the sprinklers off after 8pm. I spent all week making you this mixtape to commemorate our love ,and unfortunately my boombox is not water proof.

6. Find out what I like.
Honestly this part shouldn't be too hard. I'll give you some hints:, the first is "Victoria" and the second is "Secret". Put those two together and you really can't go wrong. If you find that you are for some reason unable to enjoy the wonders of "Victoria+ Secret", chances are you might be two things that I DO NOT like: Fat and Ugly...........If so GO AWAY, and take this coupon voucher for half off the $29.99 LA Fitness registration fee with you. Come back and see me in 15 pounds :)

7. Position yourself cleverly.
If I send you an invitation to the party in my pants, don't show up unless your gonna dance. If you ever get lost, remember where we agreed to meet up...ALL OVER ME! Make sure you always know how to get there.This is where you should always be if your not already in the kitchen, making me some "samitches".


8. Have fun by yourself too...but not too much fun.
If you are with a group of your best friends, keep them away from me.Go talk about "Twilight" and "Jack Johnson" somewhere as far far away from me as possible. Seriously that crap is lame, and you deserve to have your knee caps broken for bringing it up in the presence of mixed company.If you want to keep yourself entertained, then you can start by testifying at length to all your friends on just how truly lucky you are to be able to bask in the wake of my aura.

9. Let me know when you are available.
I cannot stress just how important it is to keep in touch with me....Because at some point in time I'm going to need to borrow some money ,and crash on your couch. By "borrow" I mean "steal", and by "crash" I mean "make out with other women on your couch".


10. Discussed the right topics.
Nobody wants to talk about how intuitive your cat "Freddy Paws Jr." is... EVER!! I hate your cat, in fact whenever you leave the room, I try and GET em'!! And for the last time NO! I didn't see who ran over Freddy Paws Jr. with my car. Also, please refrain from boring me into a coma with stories about your "goals" and "aspirations". Although the thought of you having ambition is quite laughable, I am nevertheless unamused .Dreams and wishes don't fill out halter tops, and neither do you if you catch my drift.As far as I'm concerned the only successful women are those that wear little orange hotpants ,whom can serve me a platter of nearly world famous chicken wings tossed in my choice of mild, medium, or hot sauce. This is the scale of success. You have been weighed, and you have been found wanton.